Manuscript Status: Finished

Mentor Name: Nina Laurin

Mentee Name: Layne Fargo

Title: VICTIM CONTROL

Category: Adult

Genre: Psychological Suspense

Word Count: 95,000 words

Pitch:

BLACK SWAN meets UNREAL: Chicago actress Kira expects drama when she books a breakout role with Machiavellian director Malcolm Mercer. But as she strives to beat Mal at his own mind games, Method acting turns to madness, staged violence draws real blood, and Kira starts to realize he’s not the dangerous one. She is.

Excerpt:

The actress with the audition slot before mine comes out of the theater sobbing.

It takes her a few seconds to realize she has an audience. My audition is the last of the day, so I’m the only one left waiting in the row of mismatched chairs set up against the lobby wall. When our eyes meet, she takes a small, hiccupping breath, choking back her emotions like vomit.

I don’t remember her name, and I’m not sure she ever knew mine, but we did a play together once. Years ago, one of my first jobs in Chicago. She was the heroine, and I was the slut who seduced her boyfriend. (It wasn’t a very good play.) I’ve seen her a few times since then, on posters for shows at Lookingglass, the Goodman, Steppenwolf—the type of theaters I can’t afford to go to unless I know someone who can hook me up with comp tickets.

She was always so poised, one of those classic ingenues with perfect ballerina posture and a complexion that looked fresh even under a pound of stage makeup. But right now she’s a wreck, shoulders hunched and shaking, lightning-strike lines of mascara cutting down the sides of her face. She didn’t just lose it on the way out, after the audition was over. No, she’s been going for ten minutes, minimum. Which is about the same amount of time she was inside the theater.

What the hell happened in there?

Categories: PW Entries

19 Comments

Heather Flaherty · November 1, 2017 at 12:10 pm

Hi there Layne, I would love to see more of this!

Please send:
– Query + 10 pages pasted in the body of the email
– Attach FULL ms as well!
– with subject line: PW ADULT + Title

to: flahertyqueries@thebentagency.com

Thank you so much!

Heather Flaherty (The Bent Agency)

Natascha Morris · November 1, 2017 at 12:25 pm

Hi Layne!

I’m intrigued! Please query me at QueryMe.online/1067/PitchWars2017.

Thank you!

Natascha Morris (BookEnds Literary)

Carrie Pestritto · November 1, 2017 at 1:17 pm

I was super intrigued by your pitch and sample and definitely want to read more of this!! Please send me your query and first 100 pages, with the subject “PITCHWARS REQUEST,” to carrie(at)prospectagency(dot)com. Thank you and excited to see more!

Jess Dallow · November 1, 2017 at 1:19 pm

Hi Layne,

I love the sound of this. Please send the full manuscript attached in a word doc with your query letter in the body of the email to Jess@Browerliterary.com with #PitchWars and your title in the subject. Looking forward to reading!

Jess

Caitie Flum · November 1, 2017 at 1:41 pm

This looks great! I’d love to take a look.

Please send the query in the body of the email + full manuscript as a Word attachment to querycaitie@lizadawson.com with “Pitch Wars request” in the subject.

Penelope Burns · November 1, 2017 at 2:27 pm

Hi Layne,

I am loving the voice here. Can you send the full to penelope@gelfmanschneider.com with your query in the body of the email and #PitchWars and title in the subject line? Thanks so much, looking forward to reading!

Penelope

Hillary Jacobson · November 1, 2017 at 3:37 pm

You had me at BLACK SWAN meets UNREAL! I’d love to read more. Please send the full manuscript as a word document to hjacobson@icmpartners.com. Thank you!

Danielle Burby · November 1, 2017 at 5:31 pm

I’d love to read this! Please include query letter or brief synopsis and email the full manuscript as an attachment to querydanielle@nelsonagency.com. In the subject line, please write REQUESTED PITCH WARS + the title of the manuscript. Looking forward to reading more!

Joanna · November 1, 2017 at 5:43 pm

This sounds awesome. Love the Black Swan comp! I’d love to see the full. Please email me at queryjoanna@nelsonagency.com In the subject line, write PitchWars and the title of your project. This will help ensure that your email isn’t accidentally deleted or caught in our spam filter. Please include your query along with your manuscript. Thanks!

Whitley Abell · November 1, 2017 at 11:34 pm

I’d love to see more! Please submit your query, synopsis, and first 50 pages to https://querymanager.com/query/inklings_whitley/PitchWars. I can’t wait to dive in!

Suzie Townsend · November 2, 2017 at 12:01 am

This sounds so amazing! There’s no way I can resist that pitch — I would love to read the full ms! Please send the full manuscript to suzie@newleafliterary.com attached as a Word document with the query in the first page of the document. Put “PITCH WARS” in the subject. Please also include a dreaded synopsis if you have one. Thank you! Can’t wait to read!

Uwe Stender · November 2, 2017 at 11:07 am

This sounds fantastic. Please, email the full as an MS Word attachment to uwe@triadaus.com

Caitlin McDonald · November 2, 2017 at 11:22 am

Love the sinister pitch! I’d love to see more of this. Please send the query, synopsis, and full manuscript (as an attachment) to query.cmcdonald@maassagency.com and include “Pitch Wars” in the subject line. Looking forward to reading!

Amelia Appel · November 2, 2017 at 12:31 pm

Hi Layne! I would love to see more of this. Could you please send a query letter with a synopsis and the full manuscript (that last as an attachment) to amelia@triadaus.com? Also please include “Pitch Wars” in the subject line. Thank you so much! I can’t wait to read!

Catherine Drayton · November 2, 2017 at 4:00 pm

Hi Nina,

I’d love to consider this! Please email your query to me at catherine@inkwellmanagement.com with the first fifty pages attached.

Thanks!

Catherine

Kimberly Brower · November 3, 2017 at 10:09 am

Hi I’d love to read the full manuscript. Can you please send that and a summary (spoilers ok!) in Word format to me at kimberly@browerliterary.com? For the subject line, PITCH WARS: Title Name. Looking forward to reading more!

Katie Shea Boutillier · November 3, 2017 at 12:48 pm

Please send first 50 pages in word doc to ksboutillier@maassagency.com with subject like “PITCH WARS ADULT”. Thanks so much! Can’t wait to read more. Always, Katie

Lynnette Novak · November 3, 2017 at 9:20 pm

You had me at Black Swan. 🙂 Plus, I was active on stage in my youth and this brought me back. I’m hooked!

Please send the full manuscript to Lynnette@theseymouragency.com, attached as a Word document with the query as the first page. Put “Pitch Wars” and your title in the subject line. Please also include a brief synopsis as a separate document. Thanks! Can’t wait to read!

Lynnette Novak
The Seymour Agency

Ann Leslie Tuttle · November 6, 2017 at 1:09 am

I would love to read this. Please send me the full manuscript with a synopsis to atuttle@dystel.com. Thank you.

Comments are closed.