Title: TIME BOUND
Genre: YA Historical Fantasy
Word Count: 64,000
Query:
Sixteen-year-old Holly Kimura expects her annual visit to her grandmother in Japan to be just another summer of boredom and sushi, until she meets a mysterious local boy, Tamashi. When he saves her from a gang of thugs at the market, Holly jumps at the chance to get closer to him, hoping to unearth his secrets, and maybe steal a kiss or two. Instead, she discovers his threadbare clothes and strange accent hide a secret that spans centuries. A secret that causes her world to collide with that of Izuko Fujita’s, a girl born over two hundred years ago with her own ties to Tamashi.
Tamashi is a Time Dragon—the last of an ancient breed created to watch over Japan—trapped in the body of a seventeen-year-old boy by an evil wizard. Only the blood of a human girl and an ancient ritual can set him free, but as the wizard grows closer to unlocking Tamashi’s power to rewrite Time, Tamashi finds himself growing more desperate for help.
Now, two girls, two centuries apart, must aid Tamashi to stop the wizard from completing his terrible vision for the past – because if they fail, there will be no future for any of them.
Excerpt:
There was nothing quite like the smell of tuna to set the mood for a first date.
Holly stood at the edge of the farmer’s market and wrinkled her nose. Usually the scent of yuzu and fresh chestnuts spiced the air, but today was Wednesday. Fish day.
Not exactly the day she would’ve chosen to meet up with her crush, but evidently guys either didn’t mind the smell or didn’t pay attention to that sort of thing. She hitched up her ponytail and wrinkled her nose at the tables covered with ice and slimy octopus. Fish mouths gaped at her, full of razor sharp teeth, but it was nothing compared to the looks some of the stooped old vendors shot her. They gawked as she passed – their quick judgment of her easy to read in their drawn brows and cold eyes.
She was only half-Japanese. An outsider. Though they were too polite to say anything, she knew what they were thinking. Hafu. Hapa. Half-breed. And now that she was back in Japan for another summer, she had to get used to the place all over again. It always felt like trying to remember which buttons to mash on a video game she hadn’t played in years. Except there was no reload button in real life if she screwed up.
“Buy a kimono!” one of the vendors shouted at her. Holly shook her head and kept moving, skirting around tables full of weird anime figurines, cheap lacquer boxes for the tourists and oddly shaped vegetables.
33 Comments
Ann Bedichek · May 17, 2012 at 10:04 am
Fabulous concept. Fabulous writing.
I’m so in love with this!!
Melanie Stanford · May 17, 2012 at 10:25 am
I’m loving this! But then I kinda have a thing for time travel. 🙂
Gina · May 17, 2012 at 10:26 am
I agree with Ann! I’m so lucky to get to read this! Good luck!!!
Marieke · May 17, 2012 at 11:07 am
I LOVELOVELOVELOVE everything about this story! Both MCs are fantastic, and Tam isn’t half bad either! GO TB GO!!!
Elizabeth Briggs · May 17, 2012 at 11:18 am
This is definitely one of my favorites! You immediately make me feel like I’m right there in Japan with her.
Sarah Ahiers · May 17, 2012 at 5:24 pm
I really love the idea of time dragons in this one! So frickin cool
Holly Cagney · May 17, 2012 at 6:02 pm
I looove your entry! And I swear it has nothing to do with the MC’s name! lol. Good luck!
TYHatch · May 17, 2012 at 9:18 pm
The idea of a Time Dragon is so cool! Really enjoyed your opening and my introduction to Holly.
Good luck!
Valerie · May 17, 2012 at 9:58 pm
I love this! Japan, mysterious boys, and (I heard there was this rumor) Kung Fu! I would love to read this
Jamie Corrigan · May 17, 2012 at 11:12 pm
Great voice and wonderful concept! Good luck!
T.L. Bodine · May 18, 2012 at 12:20 am
So excellent 😀
A. Lockwood · May 18, 2012 at 8:07 am
Great entry! (And a really fantastic story too!)
Becca C. · May 18, 2012 at 10:21 am
All of these elements combined – Japan, time dragons, fish-out-of-water heroine, and the wicked high stakes – I’m just totally hooked.
erica m. chapman · May 18, 2012 at 10:21 am
You had me at Time Dragon. How cool is that? Love the setting too ;o)
MarcyKate · May 18, 2012 at 10:48 am
Dragons FTW! Sounds awesome!! Good luck 😀
Leigh Ann · May 18, 2012 at 10:52 am
*Sigh*
Oh, Izuko.
My love for this MS knows no bounds.
(Yes, I read it. Yes, it’s incredible. Yes, you should be JEALOUS.)
And yeah, Erica. TIME DRAGONS. It is even cooler than it sounds.
GO TB GO!!!
April Wall · May 18, 2012 at 11:52 am
Gotta echo the love for time dragons 🙂 Good luck!
Sarah Henson · May 18, 2012 at 1:01 pm
Cool concept! Good luck!
kiperoo · May 18, 2012 at 1:22 pm
Love, love, love this entry. The concept is so unique and I love the beginning. I want more!
Jenny Kaczorowski · May 18, 2012 at 3:35 pm
I hace this loaded on my Kindle & I CANNOT WAIT to read! I’ve been hooked since the first time I say your first page & it’s only gotten better! Good luck!
Lisa K. · May 18, 2012 at 7:36 pm
This had me at Time Dragon! Plus what a great opening sentence.
Jennie Bailey · May 19, 2012 at 4:18 pm
This story sounds very rich (and your writing is too). I would love to read more!!
Noelle Henry · May 20, 2012 at 10:21 am
This is a really unique premise! I love the historical fantasy aspect to it. Good luck!
Kimberly Gabriel · May 20, 2012 at 11:41 am
I love the opening scene. I also love the historical and cultural aspects to your premise! Absolutely fabulous! Good luck to you!
Alex Hayman · May 20, 2012 at 11:46 am
I loved, loved, loved the query in the prelims, and I got excited just seeing the title again. This sounds awesome. Good luck!
Maggie Hall · May 20, 2012 at 12:11 pm
This first page is so atmospheric. Wow. And I love what you’ve done to the query–good luck!
Cait Peterson · May 20, 2012 at 12:32 pm
I’m with everyone else – hooked at Time Dragon! Woo! Seriously, good luck!
Summer Heacock · May 20, 2012 at 7:03 pm
Best. Opening line. Ever. LOL!!
Love this!!
Good luck!!!
Andrea Somberg · May 21, 2012 at 8:18 am
I vote for you!
Susan Hawk · May 21, 2012 at 9:13 am
I vote for you!
Louise Fury · May 21, 2012 at 8:51 pm
I vote for you! Suggestion–>she wrinkles her nose twice, replace one with a different description and reaction to the smell.
Anonymous · May 21, 2012 at 9:38 pm
Engagingly written! Are you a World of Warcraft player (time dragons).
Tara Dairman · May 22, 2012 at 7:20 am
#9 TIME BOUND
Query:
Really cool concept! I feel like it has potential for a lot of awesome scenes in different time periods. The query seems solid overall, though you have a couple of long sentences. I think you could break up the “Only the blood of…” sentence (with a period after “free”) since it has a lot of ideas in it.
Also, keep your em-dashes consistent—either use a space on either side (like you do in the last paragraph) or don’t (like the two in the second paragraph); just pick one and stick with it.
First page:
Funny first line, and I LOVE the atmosphere you establish in this scene. The fish-market details are spot-on and just daunting enough that we feel like we’re in an unfamiliar place before we even learn that it’s Japan. And the strange surroundings and looks of the locals are the perfect segue into Holly’s reflection on her half-Japanese status—that information didn’t feel forced to me at all. Having a taste of the adventure that’s coming from your query and a taste of your writing from this page, I’d definitely want to read more.
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