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Mentor Name: Rachel Lynn Solomon

Mentee Name: Nikki Roberti

Title: THE TRUTH ABOUT TWO-SHOES

Category: Young Adult

Genre: Contemporary

Word Count: 78,000

Pitch:

Abandoned by her friends and unable to conceal her baby bump, Mississippi pastor’s daughter Ellie joins a slacker gang hell-bent on plotting her baby daddy’s revenge. But getting revenge means facing the truth about a night this former goodie-two-shoes can’t—and doesn’t want to—remember. Saved! meets Freaks and Geeks.

Excerpt:

There it was, scrawled across my locker in jagged lipstick lettering.

Technically, the R and E were on my neighbor’s locker, so maybe I could pretend “WHO” was the message meant for me. Rather than a label of what I was, perhaps everyone wanted to know WHO I was. Who was Ellie McSatterfield? I sure would like to know.

But as stifled laughter erupted around me, I knew I was kidding myself. This was it. What they thought about me. I should be used to this by now.

Wrapping an arm around my swollen belly, I opened my locker without pausing long enough to wipe the surface with my sleeve. It would only smear anyway, like my reputation.

“Really?” Mack said from over my shoulder. “Can’t you have this kid already so my locker will stop getting jacked up?”

The clang from his fist jabbing the “RE” locker made me jump, though I didn’t say anything. I focused on my books, ignoring his piercing stare.

“Hey, you okay?”

I cringed. Okay wasn’t the word. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

He shoved his hands into his faded jean pockets and slouched one shoulder against the locker like he was waiting for me to speak more. I knew he didn’t believe me, but what did he care? He didn’t even notice me until the gossip about my pregnancy spread like warm mayonnaise-induced food poisoning at a Sunday potluck. But apparently getting the “UT” half of “SLUT” on your locker was a great icebreaker.

Categories: Pitch Wars

6 Comments

Amanda Panitch · November 4, 2014 at 1:36 pm

Hi Nikki! I love the voice in the sample and I’d love to read more. Please send your first 100 pages to me as a Word document at amanda[at]LMQlit[dot]com.

Laura Zats · November 4, 2014 at 1:42 pm

I’m intrigued! I’d love to see the first three chapters! Send in an attachment with a query in the body of an email to laura@redsofaliterary.com.

Jessica Sinsheimer · November 4, 2014 at 4:39 pm

Yes please! Query, synopsis, and full manuscript (the last two as Word documents) to ESubmissions at SarahJaneFreymann dot com please. Thank you!

Brianne Johnson · November 6, 2014 at 10:47 am

I laughed out loud and sympathized immediately. Would love to see more of this! Will you send me the first 50 pages in a Word doc with PITCH WARS and the title of your work in the subject line? Thanks so much!

Kirsten Carleton · November 7, 2014 at 11:11 am

I’d love to read the first fifty pages, along with a detailed synopsis. Please send them as attachments to kirstensubmit@waxmanleavell.com, and mention Pitch Wars in the query. Thanks!

How to Craft a Book Pitch - Brenda Drake | Brenda Drake · April 9, 2015 at 6:00 am

[…] it was my 50-word pitch and first 250-word excerpt that my mentor and I revised the most times (you can read it here). So, because the year is full of many awesome pitching contests and because querying will always […]

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