Manuscript Status: Finished

Mentor Name: Judi Lauren

Mentee Name: Danielle Thurby

Title: CHASING JOHN SMITH

Category: Young Adult

Genre: Contemporary Suspense

Word Count: 90,000

Pitch:

For years, brothers Cole and Jack, under orders from their obsessed father, have had one purpose: catch their mother’s murderer. Molded into warriors and forbidden to have personal relationships, the boys are strangers to normal—something Cole, a defiant son but loyal big brother, wants desperately to change. And Jack, always an obedient soldier, starts thinking for himself for the first time when he experiences feelings for a cute boy at school. But as they struggle with trading their fake identities for their true selves, the brothers fear that in their hunt to catch a killer, they could lose their lives, or worse, each other. Told through dual POV, it’s Supernatural meets I Hunt Killers.

Excerpt:

Cole

“You are no longer Jared Turner. Your name is Cole Matheson.”

If I jumped out of the car now, I could avoid Dad’s bullshit identity exercise. But if I’m gonna bail, it’s not going to be on this endless stretch of mono filter land that someone had balls enough to declare a state.

Say it,” he warns.

“I know my new name.” I glance up long enough to catch Dad’s dark eyes giving me the I-just-gave-you-an-order look, that somehow still works on my brother. Dad shifts his gaze to him instead.

“You say it.”

Immediately, he sits up and recites, “I am no longer Dylan Turner. My name is Jack Matheson.”

Dad claps him on the shoulder. “Good. Again.”

He says it a little louder each time, more determination in his voice. “My name is Jack Matheson. My brother is Cole. Our mother was Lucy. She died in a car accident when we were kids.”

“Because that’s original,” I mutter.

Dad’s voice rises. “It isn’t about originality, it’s about believability. Anonymity.”

“I know,” I say. “It sure as hell isn’t about the truth.”

 

Categories: PW Entries

3 Comments

Kaitlyn Johnson · November 2, 2017 at 10:29 pm

OMG please give me my Dean <3 I’d love to see the full. Please send to https://querymanager.com/query/KaitlynJohnson/Contests with synopsis and PitchWars in the referral page. Love these comps and voice!

Heather Flaherty · November 3, 2017 at 12:36 am

Is the cute boy Cas? Is he, is he? Would love to see more of this!

Please send:
– Query + 10 pages pasted in the body of the email
– Attach FULL ms as well!
– with subject line: PW YA + Title

to:  flahertyqueries@thebentagency.com

Thank you so much!

Heather Flaherty (The Bent Agency)

Melissa Nasson · November 6, 2017 at 4:44 pm

Danielle, I’d love to see more of this! Please send the first 50 pages as a Word doc or PDF attachment to melissa@rpcontent.com. Please also include your query letter in the body of the email, and Pitch Wars in the subject line.

I look forward to reading!

Thanks,

Melissa Nasson
Rubin Pfeffer Content

Comments are closed.