Manuscript Status: Finished

Mentor Names: Kristin Smith and Beth Ellyn Summer

Mentee Name: Michelle Mason

Title: YOUR SECRET’S NOT SAFE WITH ME

Category: Young Adult

Genre: Humorous Suspense

Word Count: 70,000 words

Pitch:

Seventeen-year-old Dora Lockhart isn’t being literal when she threatens via text to bury the babysitter. It’s just epically bad timing the babysitter gets murdered—with Dora’s fishing knife—ten minutes later. Now Dora must dispose of the body or face a murder charge.

So … the downstairs freezer seems about the right size.

“Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead” meets KILL THE BOY BAND.

Excerpt:

I spotted the pebble a second before my skate would’ve hit it, swerving just in time to avoid a splatter of fries, ice cream, and humiliation in the drive-thru lane. Thankfully, my tray suffered no ill effects from the close call, a small miracle considering it was loaded with five pounds of grease and sugar. Rolling up to the driver’s side of car twelve, I used my toe stop to execute a flourish. I cocked my hip—part of Cosmic Diner’s server training—and waited in the sticky June afternoon heat for the driver to lower the window.

My glasses had slid down my nose during my evasive maneuver, so I adjusted them with my free hand as I glanced at the receipt. The window began to open, but I didn’t look up before I spoke. “That’ll be—”

“If it isn’t Dora the Explorer.”

Carter. And my last day before vacation had been going so well. Talk about raining on my campfire.

I straightened, positioning the tray so the food shielded me. “You got a new car,” I accused.

Because if I’d connected the metallic red Audi to Carter, I’d have sent Sophie or another server over here.

He’s not worth it. He’ll go away if you ignore him.

If only the Cosmic Diner handbook said we reserved the right to refuse service to exes, I’d be golden.

Categories: PW Entries

12 Comments

Jessica Watterson · November 2, 2017 at 11:56 pm

How weird, my comment disappeared! Would love to read this!

Please send your full ms, synopsis, and query to jessica@dijkstraagency.com with #pitchwars in the sub line!

Jess Dallow · November 3, 2017 at 10:13 am

Hi Michelle,

I’d love to read more! Please send the full manuscript attached in a word doc with your query letter in the body of the email to Jess@Browerliterary.com with #PitchWars and your title in the subject. Looking forward to reading!

Jess

Carrie Pestritto · November 3, 2017 at 10:50 am

I was super intrigued by your pitch and sample and definitely want to read more of this!! Please send me your query and first 50 pages, with the subject “PITCHWARS REQUEST,” to carrie(at)prospectagency(dot)com. Thank you and excited to see more!

Natascha Morris · November 3, 2017 at 4:09 pm

I’d love to see more! Please send your manuscript to QueryMe.online/1067/PitchWars2017. Thank you!

Best,
Natascha Morris

Roseanne Wells · November 3, 2017 at 7:59 pm

I’d love to read more! Please use the guidelines on jdlit.com to send 30pp (instead of the normal 20), and include #Pitchwars in the subject line. I can’t wait to dive in!

Roseanne Wells
The Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency

Ella Marie Shupe · November 4, 2017 at 11:31 am

Hi Michelle,
Your concept is clever. I would like to read a synopsis and three chapters. Please send them directly to me at ellamarie@belcastroagency.com with Pitch Wars added to the subject line. Thanks.
Best,
Ella Marie Shupe
Belcastro Agency

Christa Heschke · November 4, 2017 at 2:14 pm

I’ve been looking for something like this–dark humor a la Final Girls etc.!Please send a query, first 50 pages and synopsis to chquery@mcintoshandotis.com and put the title and Pitch Wars request in the subject line.
–Christa Heschke, McIntosh & Otis

Lynnette Novak · November 4, 2017 at 5:06 pm

I laughed out loud at your pitch. Love your voice, Michelle! This is amazeballs!

Please send the full manuscript to Lynnette@theseymouragency.com, attached as a Word document with the query as the first page. Put “Pitch Wars” and your title in the subject line. Please also include a brief synopsis as a separate document. Thanks! Can’t wait to read!

Lynnette Novak
The Seymour Agency

Jennifer Rofé · November 7, 2017 at 1:50 am

Michelle,

I laughed out loud at your pitch and then felt bad for laughing because how (hilariously) morbid. I would love to read more of this. Please send a query and your full manuscript to jennifer@andreabrownlit.com. In the subject line, write QUERY: SECRET’S NOT SAFE Pitch Wars.

Best,

Jennifer.

Amanda Jain · November 7, 2017 at 11:56 am

I’m so intrigued by this premise, and love the voice here! Please send your query and full as an attachment to amanda@inklingsliterary.com. Thanks!

It’s Pitch Wars Time! | Michelle I. Mason · November 8, 2017 at 12:56 pm

[…] PW #311: Young Adult Humorous Suspense: YOUR SECRET’S NOT SAFE WITH ME […]

It's Pitch Wars Time! - Michelle I. Mason · September 2, 2020 at 10:04 am

[…] PW #311: Young Adult Humorous Suspense: YOUR SECRET’S NOT SAFE WITH ME […]

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