Manuscript Status: Finished

Mentors Names: Tricia Clasen and Laura Shovan

Mentee Name: Asari Beale

Title: MY BROTHER, THE OLMEC

Category: Middle Grade

Genre: Contemporary Fantasy #ownvoices

Word Count: 54,000

 

Pitch:

When her annoyingly perfect brother is eaten by a forgotten Olmec god, eleven-year-old Marty is the only one who can save him. To rescue Daniel, Marty must abandon plans for a lazy summer and babysit the egotistical god. Marty uncovers family secrets, travels to spirit realms, and proves she is more powerful than anyone thinks. Eva Ibbotson meets Mexican mythology in this hilarious fantasy.

Excerpt:

The day Marty’s brother was swallowed alive by an ancient Olmec statue began just as any that summer, with their mom getting on her case. She insisted Marty go to her brother Daniel’s soccer practice to get some fresh air.

“No-o-o-o-o!” This was Marty’s go-to bargaining tactic.

Daniel wasn’t happy, either. “Nobody takes their little sister to practice!”

“Nobody but you,” their mom said. Wanda Montenegro Simms was small and terrifying. From her tight bun to her sensible shoes, she screamed efficiency. Just the sight of her in her pantsuit and work purse made Marty want to get back in bed and hide under the covers. Preferably with some cereal.

“Marty can play goalie or keep score—something—I don’t care,” Wanda said. “Just take her with you and don’t let her wander off like she does.” She narrowed her eyes. “And stay out of the woods!”

At the soccer field, Daniel waved to his friend Adam, then pointed to the far end of the pitch. “Go over there,” he told Marty. “If the ball goes that way, kick it back.”

Marty meant to cooperate, but after chasing a few balls she got bored, wandered off and ended up in the grass, on her stomach watching bees hover over a patch of clover. She was too absorbed to notice when Daniel’s soccer ball whizzed by and rolled down the ditch—right into the Witch Woods.

 

Categories: PW Entries

11 Comments

Marie Lamba · November 2, 2017 at 8:44 am

Nice voice! Please submit your query to me at marie.jdlit@gmail.com with your query letter and the first 20 pages pasted into the email. Please put PITCH WARS REQUEST and your title in the message line. Also, attach the complete manuscript as a word file. Thanks!
Marie

Carrie Hannigan · November 2, 2017 at 11:17 am

Hi Asari,

I would love to read more! Please query me at channigan@hsgagency.com and attach the first 100 pages as a word document. Also please include “Pitch Wars” in your subject line.

Thanks so much!
Carrie

Natascha Morris · November 2, 2017 at 11:50 am

I love the voice. Please query me at QueryMe.online/1067/PitchWars2017! Thank you!

Best,
Natascha

Whitley Abell · November 2, 2017 at 4:05 pm

I’d love to see more! Please submit your query, synopsis, and first 50 pages to https://querymanager.com/query/inklings_whitley/PitchWars. I can’t wait to dive in!

Stephen Barbara · November 2, 2017 at 4:59 pm

Hi Asari: We’d be interested to read MY BROTHER, THE OLMEC. (The excerpt was fun and of course, we are big fans of Laura Shovan here …). Could you send the full manuscript to stephen@inkwellmanagement.com? Best, Stephen

Cari Lamba · November 2, 2017 at 7:19 pm

I’d love to keep reading! Please send your query letter with the first 20 pages pasted into the email to cari.jdlit@gmail.com, also attach the full manuscript and include Pitch Wars with the title in the subject line.

Thanks!
Cari

Pam Victorio · November 4, 2017 at 4:04 pm

I love this! Please send a ‘query’ through my Query Manager and I’ll request the full through the system. http://QueryMe.Online/QueryPam

Brent Taylor · November 5, 2017 at 10:08 am

Would love to have a closer look at this. Please send the full manuscript to brent(@)triadaus(.)com. Looking forward!

Brent Taylor · November 5, 2017 at 10:09 am

This sounds wonderful. Please send the full manuscript to brent(@)triadaus(.)com. Looking forward!

Christa Heschke · November 7, 2017 at 3:49 pm

This sounds like a lot of fun! Please send a query, first 50 pages and synopsis to chquery@mcintoshandotis.com. I look forward to reading!
-Christa Heschke, McIntosh & Otis

Kari · November 7, 2017 at 6:46 pm

Hi Asari,

This sounds really intriguing and action-packed. I really enjoyed your voice. Could you please send me the first 50 pages as an attachment, along with a query in the email and REQUESTED: PitchWars in the subject line? kari@bradfordlit.com

Thank you!
Kari

Comments are closed.