Manuscript Status: Finished

Mentor Name: Gabrielle Byrne

Mentee Name: Greg Pattridge

Title: BAD HABITS

Category: Middle Grade

Genre: Historical

Word Count: 48,500 words

Pitch:

Eleven-year-old Christopher Ponder and his best friend launch a desperate plan to escape Catholic school, but keeping their friendship intact isn’t easy in the face of a ruler-wielding, patch-eyed Sister, the events of 1963, and a whole lot of BAD HABITS. WEDNESDAY WARS meets HOLES.

Excerpt:

Dear God, I don’t think you like me. Amen.

I shrink back. Wiggly trails of nerves race through me like wildfire. There is no escape. The beast called my name.

Sister Mary Dymphna pushes up the black sleeves of her flowing robe. Two massive arms emerge. “Christopher Ponder,” she repeats. “Recite The Lord’s Prayer… In Latin.” Her single eye bores into my soul.

I’m doomed.

I grip the desk and push myself to a standing position. My legs are like Play-Doh, weak and unsteady. I shoot a panicked look at Matt Flannigan. He shrugs. Last week Matt snagged my card from Sister’s name-calling pile. She must have counted and figured out I was missing.

Rosary beads jangle as Sister rises—quicker than Jesus ever did. “Ponder, your head is an empty shell.” She writes Monday, November 18, 1963 on the chalkboard and executes a slow turn.

My chest and stomach switch places, twice.

Her flabby upper lip curls more than usual. The deep folds of three extra chins sag over the top of her half-moon collar. I wouldn’t wish this moment on anyone—not even a girl.

Please let me stay upright.

Our nun is a few inches taller and a foot wider than me. A black and white veil frames her face. Large gold-wire glasses can’t disguise the black patch over her left eye.

Word on the playground is she lost the eye in a fight with a Jehovah’s Witness who made the mistake of knocking on the convent door.

Categories: PW Entries

11 Comments

Hilary Harwell · November 1, 2017 at 10:11 pm

Oh she sounds delightfully disgusting! Please kindly send the full manuscript to hilary@ktliterary.com with “PitchWars” in the subject so I may continue reading!!

Cheers!
Hilary

Brooks Sherman · November 1, 2017 at 11:13 pm

The pitch had me intrigued, but the opening lines and the deadpan voice had me dying to read on! Please say Five Hail Mary’s and send your query and full manuscript to bsherman@janklow.com, with the subject line “PitchWars: BAD HABITS.” I look forward to reading more!

Best,
Brooks

Rena Rossner · November 2, 2017 at 2:33 am

I’d love to read this! Please send the full manuscript attached as a word document to: rena (at) thedeborahharrisagency (dot) com.

Thanks!

– Rena

Heather Flaherty · November 2, 2017 at 6:50 am

Hey Greg, fantastic opening and idea, I would love to see more!

Please send:
– Query + 10 pages pasted in the body of the email
– Attach FULL ms as well!
– with subject line: PW MG + Title

to:  flahertyqueries@thebentagency.com

Thank you so much!

Heather Flaherty (The Bent Agency)

Jim McCarthy · November 2, 2017 at 8:42 am

I would love to see this! Please send the full manuscript to me at jmccarthy@dystel.com. A Word attachment is most preferable if possible. Best, Jim

Carrie Hannigan · November 2, 2017 at 10:19 am

Hi Greg,

I would love to read more of this! Please send your query to channigan@hsgagency.com with the first 100 pages attached as a word document. Also please include “Pitch Wars” in your subject line.

Thanks so much!
Carrie (Hannigan Salky Getzler)

Penelope Burns · November 2, 2017 at 1:22 pm

Hi Greg,

I would LOVE to see this. Can you please send the full manuscript to penelope@gelfmanschneider.com, with your query in the body of the email and #PitchWars and title in the subject line? Thanks so much!

Penelope

Josh Adams · November 2, 2017 at 2:46 pm

Amen. I’d love to read more! Please send the full manuscript to josh@adamsliterary.com along with your query and the subject line: PitchWars: Bad Habits. Thanks!

Roseanne Wells · November 2, 2017 at 2:54 pm

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph–what an opener. I’d love to see more! Please use the guidelines on jdlit.com to send 100 pp (instead of the usual 20) and include #Pitchwars in the subject line. I can’t wait to dive in!
Roseanne Wells
The Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency

Adriann Ranta Zurhellen · November 3, 2017 at 1:21 pm

Oh God (pun intended), I can’t wait to read more! Please send the first 50 pages to aranta@foundrymedia.com! Thanks!

Christa Heschke · November 6, 2017 at 10:40 pm

This sounds great and I’d be interested to see more! Please send a query, first 50 pages and synopsis to chquery@mcintoshandotis.com. Look forward to reading!
-Christa Heschke, McIntosh & Otis

Comments are closed.