MENTOR: Lori Goldstein

MENTEE: Laurie Elizabeth Flynn

TITLE: FIRSTS

CATEGORY/GENRE: YA Contemporary

WORD COUNT: 75,000

 

PITCH:

Seventeen-year-old Mercedes provides a unique service to the virgins of Milton High: the opportunity to get their awkward first time over with, judgment-free. But when her best friend’s boyfriend wants into her bedroom, it’s not just her secret that spirals out of control, it’s her life.

 

EXCERPT:

Tonight, I’m doing Evan Brown’s girlfriend a favor. An awkward, sweaty, fumbling favor. Melanie, or whatever her name is, owes me big time.

Except she’ll never know it.

“Wait there,” I tell Evan before slipping into my walk-in closet.

I sneak a glance back at him, at his crouched-over stance on the edge of my bed, his skinny shoulders hunched forward and his hands on his knees. He looks like he’s getting ready to play a video game. I stifle a laugh. This is one level he won’t beat on the first try.

When I’m carefully ensconced in my walk-in, I wiggle into a pair of pink satin boy shorts and a matching camisole. I know by the fear on his face and the smell of nervous sweat emanating from his armpits that Evan can’t handle the black lacy negligee, and especially not the red slip, the one with the slit that goes all the way up.

I open the drawer containing my garter belts and collection of fishnet stockings, then close it again. Evan wouldn’t know what to do with a garter belt or fishnet stockings, and it’s not my intention to embarrass him any more than he already is.

I apply pink lipstick and leave my hair loose around my shoulders. It’s wavy, still damp from the shower. Normally I’d flat-iron it into stick-straight submission, but, this time, maybe I’ll drop the getup. I rub the lipstick off, but the judgment in my eyes remains.

Evan will get what I’m most definitely not—the good girl.

 

Categories: Pitch Wars

8 Comments

Brianne Johnson · January 22, 2014 at 12:32 am

Would love to read more of this! Would you email me the first 50 pages, please? Thank you!

Jennifer Udden · January 22, 2014 at 11:23 am

Sounds intriguing. Can you send me the first 100 pages?

judden at maassagency dot com

Jennifer Udden
DMLA

Jessica Sinsheimer · January 22, 2014 at 12:01 pm

I’d be happy to see more. Please send query (in the body of the email) with synopsis and full manuscript attached as Word documents–all to ESubmissions at SarahJaneFreymann dot com. Thank you!

Pam · January 22, 2014 at 12:14 pm

I’d like to see the full please. querypam@forewordliterary.com

Lana Popovic · January 22, 2014 at 12:26 pm

This sounds like fun! Could I see the first fifty please, sent to lpopovic@zshliterary.com?

Stefanie Lieberman · January 22, 2014 at 5:42 pm

I would like to see more. If you are interested in submitting to me, please send three chapters to submissions(at)janklow(dot)com. Please include my name in the subject line and indicate that this is a Pitch Wars submission in the body of your email.

Louise Fury · January 22, 2014 at 11:21 pm

I NEED to read this.

Please send me the full manuscript in a word document with the pitch/query as page 1. Email furyqueries [@] thebentagency.com

Thanks!
~Louise Fury

John Cusick · January 23, 2014 at 3:01 pm

Um, okay yes. Please send this to me? The whole thing? Please? JohnC [at] GreenhouseLiterary.com

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