MENTOR: N.K. Traver

MENTEE: Alison Green Myers

TITLE: THAT NIGHT ON BLOSSOM HILL

CATEGORY/GENRE: YA Horror

WORD COUNT: 48,000

 

PITCH:

Mary’s flawless acting may have the starstruck detectives fooled, but her sister Maureen knows Mary’s the devil behind their mother and brother’s brutal murders. Now Maureen must prove it before Mary adds her to the body count.

 

EXCERPT:

[Mary]

September 15

3:03 am

I’ll have to start running soon. I detest running. But I will have to appear out of breath. Out of my mind. Out of control. And I’m never out of control.

Happy to finally have the weight of them slashed from around my neck. Just Maureen left to erase. And then Daddy and I can start over.

I look down at myself one last time before hitting the steps and then on to the Hamilton’s door.

I take a slick swipe from elbow to wrist and flick blood onto the pavement. Even in the dark of night, I see the drops thwack to the ground and form an oily caterpillar. Mom bled heavier than I’d read she would and now I’m covered in more blood than will make my story plausible. I’ll have to convince Mrs. Dimwit that I must shower before she calls the police. Shouldn’t be too hard. After all, the Hamiltons were handpicked to play this role, as was everyone that I’ve so carefully cast.

#

Bang! Bang! Bang!

The Hamilton’s door flies open to my perfectly timed screams.

“Mary, Mary! Oh my God, Mary.” Mrs. Hamilton grabs my arms, pulling me across the threshold. “Sam, come quick, it’s Mary!”

Mr. Hamilton stumbles into the foyer, whipping his robe around his stick-bone shoulders. “Where are you hurt?”

He rushes to my side. I drop like a brick to the black and white checkered floor, and feel blood ooze out beneath me, splotting the tile like Dr. Rizzo’s inkblot artwork.

Categories: Pitch Wars

10 Comments

Brianne Johnson · January 22, 2014 at 12:07 am

You KNOW I wanna see this 🙂 would you send me the full ms? Nicely done!

Lana Popovic · January 22, 2014 at 11:49 am

Sociopaths? Sign me up! Can you send me the full ms, please, at lpopovic@zshliterary.com? Looking forward to it!

Jessica Sinsheimer · January 22, 2014 at 11:52 am

I’d love to see this. Please send query (in the body of the email) with synopsis and full manuscript attached as Word documents to ESubmissions at SarahJaneFreymann dot com. Thank you!

Pam · January 22, 2014 at 12:07 pm

I really need to see this! Fantastic opening. querypam@forewordliterary.com

    Brenda Drake · January 22, 2014 at 10:21 pm

    Pam would like to see a full on this.

Suzie Townsend · January 22, 2014 at 1:10 pm

This sounds fabulous–I’d love to see more! Please email the full manuscript as a word document with your query pasted into the first page to suzie@newleafliterary.com. Put REQUESTED MATERIAL in the subject line.

Rachel Ekstrom · January 22, 2014 at 4:22 pm

I’m intrigued! Please send the full ms with PITCH WARS-REQUESTED and your book title in the subject line to queries.rachel@irenegoodman.com. Also please include your query in the email–thank you!

Louise Fury · January 22, 2014 at 11:03 pm

Love me some HORROR. Please email me the full manuscript in a word doc w/the query as the first page. furyqueries@thebentagency.com

Thanks!

~Louise

Victoria Marini · January 23, 2014 at 11:14 am

ohhh a sociopathic sibling! Murdered Parents. I have to see this. Please send it to Victoria.gsliterary@gmail.com! Also, if you could include PITCH WARS in the subject line that’d be great. Thank you!

John Cusick · January 23, 2014 at 2:53 pm

Yup, I haveta haveta haveta read this. Would you please send the full as a Word doc to JohnC [at] GreenhouseLiterary.com?

Comments are closed.