Beware the Angry Robot Unicorn with Tamara Mataya

This interview need no introduction from me. It is that awesome. Trust me.

Tamara Mataya is currently a librarian; she lurked there for so long recommending books to patrons and shushing people, that she suspects they only hired her so it would be less creepy. Now she’s armed with a name tag, and a thin veneer of credibility. She’s also a musician with synaesthesia – which isn’t an issue until someone plays a wrong note, which makes her want to squirm inside out. It makes for a good live show.

And don’t forget to check out Tamara’s blog, Twitter, and Facebook!

Rae: After a bio like that, I have to ask, who would you pick to write your official biography? What would it be titled? And if it were optioned to a movie, who would play you?

Tamara: Feaky Got Snuckered, a collaboration between Anais Nin and Oscar Wilde. I’d like to be played by someone like Mila Kunis because I totally have a crush on her, but I don’t know if she’s goofy enough to pull off my anti-gravitas.

 

Rae: Anti-gravitas . . . now there’s a term you don’t hear every day! What fictional academy/university/school would you most want to attend? (ie Starfleet Academy, Hogwarts, Jedi Academy, Camp Half-Breed, Battle School in Space, Beauxbatons, etc)

Tamara: I don’t wanna go to school today! Five more minutes! I guess if I HAD to, Hogwarts. But I’d want to be like Hermione or Harry, and have been raised in the Muggle world – it would imbue the whole thing with more wonder and excitement than if I’d been born and raised in a world of magic.

 

Rae: While wondering at Hogwarts, what fictional character would be your confidante? Enemy? Idol? Kick-butt ally?

Tamara: I’d love any of my Main Characters to be my friends and allies. I had a dream one time that we (all my writer friends and I on Twitter) were our Main Characters, and we were all interacting on Twitter, and still friends even though we weren’t ourselves. It was awesome. 🙂

 

Rae: What fictional food/beverage would you most want to try?

Tamara: Alice’s potion and cake that let her shrink and grow.

 

Rae: You are faced with your nemesis! You instantly grab your trusty __________. (lightsaber, phaser, wand, mace, girly scream, katana, broadsword, etc)

Tamara: Hilarity, and disarm them with humour! If that fails, my angry robot unicorn would impale them. Mwah ha ha

 

Rae: Angry robot unicorn? Remind me to never get on your bad side! What song(s) would play in the soundtrack of your life?

Tamara: Something without bagpipes. There’s be Beatles songs, and Tito and Tarantula, and Led Zeppelin, and Tracy Bonham. Fiona Apple, and Silverchair, and Buju Banton, and Barrington Levy. Basically, a bit of EVERYTHING.

 

Rae: What’s your best rainy day book? Beach book?

Tamara: Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons is an all time favourite! Stupid And Contagious by Caprice Crane. The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove by Christopher Moore. Forests of the Heart by Charles de Lint. I LIKE TOO MANY BOOKS! haha

 

Rae: What is your work fuel of choice? (food-wise)

Tamara: Something quick I can eat with one hand.

 

Rae: Something awesome just happened. How do you celebrate?

Tamara: Good news breaks my brain. I’m the girl you want next to you in a crisis. Most of my celebrating involves running around the house scaring the dog and the husband.

 

Rae: I think we’ve all done that kind of celebrating before. *guilty grin* But what if something sucky just happened? What gets you through one of these harder days?

Tamara: There’s this video of a little goat named Buttermilk on youtube…

 

Rae: I think I just might need the link to that. Whose work inspired you to start writing?

Tamara: I never really had anyone inspire me to want to write. I found this journal we had to keep up every day when we were in grade one. Most of my entries were ‘I had cheerios for breakfast’ or ‘I played with Lady (my dog).’ Then there was this HUGE three page long epic tale of how I rescued a caterpillar from my brother, and how ‘it was like he worked for Doctor Claw’ (Inspector Gadget). I’ve always had an overactive imagination. The thing that started me writing seriously a few years ago, was actually a meditation. I used to imagine a crystal pyramid in the desert, and my first manuscript featured that. Maybe I’ll dust it off one day. 🙂

 

Rae: You know, I would read that! Last question: what brilliant back-in-the-day book idea do you wish you’d have written or come up with?

Tamara: If I’d come up with them, they wouldn’t have been the same. So, none!

 

See? This interview is full of awesome . . . as is this: Just released … THE BEST LAID PLANS by Tamara Mataya …

Buy it today!

Jayne Griffin isn’t looking for Mr. Right. She’s looking for Mr. RTFN and a toe-curling good time. She’s got the brains, the powerful job as a futures broker, and thanks to a makeover and a thin book of dating advice, the confidence to turn any man’s head.

Malcolm Black notices his high school crush, Jayne, from the stage of her company’s work party. His adolescent feelings for her died beneath months of abuse at the hands of bullies. Abuse that was Jayne’s fault. Though this scorching hot studio musician is unrecognizable as the band geek he used to be, the hurt still lives inside him, and he hatches a plan: Seduce Jayne into falling in love with him, and then shatter her heart.

The white-hot chemistry between them is a pleasant surprise. It all goes so smoothly until Feelings start to develop… and that invitation to their ten year high school reunion lands in their inboxes.

Jayne wants the perfect lover. Malcolm wants revenge. But you know what they say about The Best Laid Plans…