Genre: Women’s Fiction
Word Count: 79,000
Pitch:
When Sophie loses her almost-fiancé and dream job, she’s left with one thing: her “psychic,” aka psychotic mother. Sophie must rebuild her life with a third eye activating, chakra balancing, universe shifting wingman…or “wingmom.”
Excerpt:
It had to be him.
When I unearthed my cell phone from between a tampon and the tattered fortune cookie slip “Great change is in your future,” my heart sank. The word “Unknown” marred the screen.
“Hello.” I answered, pining for Carter’s voice. I hadn’t heard from him in two days. Maybe he was calling from a campus phone?
“Wanda didn’t invite me to Lulu’s wedding! Can you believe that? After everything.”
“Mom? Why are you calling me from an unknown number?”
“Because I star sixty-seven’d you. This is an emergency, and I wanted to make sure you took my call.”
“Um, okay. So why didn’t Wanda invite you to Lulu’s wedding?” I asked, exasperated. One had to wonder who the mother was in our role-reversal relationship.
“She said it would be upsetting to Lulu…and I know that’s not true because I talked to Lulu. She wanted me there.”
“Wait, how did you talk to Lulu?”
“Telepathically. She was vacationing in Lake Havasu, so she wasn’t here to talk in person.”
“I meant how did you talk to Lulu because she’s a dog. But I guess “telepathically” kinda covers both long distance and nonverbal communication. Anyway, you put Lulu up for adoption, Mom. I can understand Wanda’s concern about upsetting her.”
“That’s total crap. When I let Wanda adopt Lulu she promised me I could go to Lulu and Yoda’s wedding.”
I covered the phone as I took a big sigh. This entire thing was ludicrous, but a lifetime of my mom’s insanity had me well-versed in patience.
5 Comments
Melissa Jeglinski · September 8, 2013 at 7:52 pm
Really enjoyed the premise, I’d like to Buy A House (Query and first 150 pages.) Thanks so much, Melissa Jeglinski of The Knight Agency
The Iron, AKA Jessica · September 9, 2013 at 7:12 pm
$100. Um. For Lulu’s wedding?
Sincerely,
The Iron
akaterrie · September 10, 2013 at 12:46 am
Everyone knows spend more! I’ll put down a crisp $100 for the Query and 1st 100 pages.
Kimberly VanderHorst · September 11, 2013 at 2:16 pm
This was such a fun read! I totally cracked up (because the mom reminds me of my Grandma in the most hilarious way). The voice is so strong, and the premise really grabbed me. I can totally picture reading the whole book and alternating between gasping and giggling. Love!
terrajw · September 11, 2013 at 5:24 pm
Thank you Melissa, Jessica and Terrie for your bids. To say I was thrilled to hear from each of you is an understatement. And Kimberly…your words inspire me. You hit on exactly what I was going for in the book: lots of gasping and giggling…with a touch of tears, too.
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