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| Find out all about the blogfest here! |
Cally Jackson and Rachel Morgan are holding the exciting Power of Tension Blogfest from May 23 through May 27. I’ve decided that this would be a wonderful opportunity to get out my cave and back into the writing world after a couple week hibernation.
So this is how they’re doing it in their own words:
Give us an excerpt (up to 300 words) from your manuscript or recently completed work (or just a random scene) that just drips with tension and will tie us up in knots wanting to know more. It doesn’t matter what the piece is about, as long as it screams tension.
Click the link above to find out all the other details and the prizes to be had.
So here’s my entry. It’s an excerpt from my young adult urban fantasy, LIBRARY JUMPERS.
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I turned to see what distracted him. “Why? What’s wrong–?”
I saw him then and choked on my words. He was a muscled mountain of a man, bald and scarred. He didn’t have to dodge pedestrians because they hurried out of his way.
“Who is that?” Nick asked.
“A hunter,” Arik said with concern in his voice.
“Hurry! The T’s just around the corner!” Afton yelled as she hustled up the street.
Nick chased her and Arik and I ran side by side after them, flying around the corner, and darting into the Park Street station.
Heavy breaths drummed behind me. The creep was right behind us. Arik grabbed a trashcan and slammed it into the hunter, the crumpled can crashing to the ground. The man swayed on his feet as he tried to recover. Arik grabbed my hand and pulled me down the steps, pushing through people along the way. My foot slipped on the last step and I nose-planted, sliding across the floor and crashing into a couple of bicycles. A kickstand cut into my calf and the pain seared through my body. Tasting a salty copper on my tongue, I felt my lip. It was cracked and bleeding.
Arik slid across the floor on his knees to me.
“No! Leave me.” My eyes shot up to Afton and Nick flagging us to hurry before the car doors shut. “You have to help them.”
The hunter reached the platform. His white marble eyes brushed across me. There wasn’t an iris or a pupil in either one. A scar ran from the top of his bald head, down the right side of his face, and ended at his collarbone. He hurdled past us and headed toward Afton and Nick.
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So that’s it. You can check out the other participants by going here.
Thanks for stopping by!
32 Comments
Trisha Wolfe · May 23, 2011 at 5:50 pm
OH, this is a great excerpt to submit! I loved the whole story, but yes, this has so much tension and makes me want to read it all over again. Happy writing and good luck in the contest!
Charity Bradford · May 23, 2011 at 6:54 pm
Nice job! I’m wondering who’s hunting them and why. And that fall sounded really painful. Thanks for sharing.
Susan Fields · May 23, 2011 at 7:51 pm
Sounds like a really creepy guy – very nice!
Sarah Ketley · May 23, 2011 at 7:52 pm
Good choice!!
awesome job, this is the third one that i would seriously be shortlisting if it were up to me (which it isn’t) Just my 2cents!
Sarah
Brenda Drake · May 23, 2011 at 10:08 pm
Trish, thanks that’s so kind!
Charity, yeah, I had a fall like that and I can attest that it was very painful.
Susan, the hunters are very creepy – they can’t see – they’re like blood hounds and are giving scents to follow and won’t stop until they make the kill.
Wow, thanks Sarah, for the wonderful compliment.
You all rock! 😀
J.C. Martin · May 24, 2011 at 1:30 am
Creepy guy! Wonder what he wants with Afton and Nick? Oh, and that fall sounded painful!
lissawrites · May 24, 2011 at 2:35 am
Good old chase scene. The creep factor was there as well as the tension. Well done!
Amy · May 24, 2011 at 4:43 am
Loved it! I agree with everyone when I say that fall sounded really painful! Great job! 🙂
Grace · May 24, 2011 at 10:09 am
Nice energy build up for the next scene! Leaves the reading looking for more!
Raquel Byrnes · May 24, 2011 at 12:51 pm
Those eyes really got me. All the action and then the white marble of his eyes. Great use of detail to punch up the tension.
Edge of Your Seat Romance
Libby · May 24, 2011 at 3:51 pm
I loved this bit of description best: “He didn’t have to dodge pedestrians because they hurried out of his way.” – says a ton.
Crystal Collier · May 24, 2011 at 6:29 pm
Ouch! Very tense.
Vicki Tremper · May 25, 2011 at 4:59 am
Oh no! What’s going to happen to Afton and Nick? Will Arik help them or the MC? Good job with the tension!
Shannon · May 25, 2011 at 7:41 am
Great action and descriptions. I really enjoyed this.
Siv Maria · May 25, 2011 at 9:40 am
Hi Brenda, I really enjoyed this. Graphic and tense, definitely left me wanting to find out more. Nice to meet you.
Stephanie M · May 25, 2011 at 2:25 pm
Oh, I didn’t expect the hunter to ran past them. So the other two are the ones he’s after. Nice pacing, has me leaning toward the screen as if that will help me read faster.
Sarah · May 25, 2011 at 5:25 pm
I didn’t expect the hunter to run past them, either. There’s so much going on here! Definitely tension!
Damyanti · May 25, 2011 at 5:55 pm
There’s a lot of energy to this excerpt, and a pace that doesn’t let up. Great job.
Gabrielle · May 25, 2011 at 6:20 pm
Very tense! I loved the style of your writing, and how you managed to put in such minute detail when you had to keep it to so few words. For some reason the sentence “He didn’t have to dodge pedestrians because they hurried out of his way” seemed just about perfect 🙂
Trisha · May 25, 2011 at 6:24 pm
Great entry!! I definitely need/want to read on to find out what happens! 😀
Sari Webb · May 25, 2011 at 8:06 pm
Oh good job! So much tension. O.O I really want to know what happens next.
Brenda Drake · May 26, 2011 at 6:20 am
Thanks everyone for your wonderful comments. I’m really enjoying all entries – you all are such terrific writers. 😀
Lady Gwen · May 26, 2011 at 12:45 pm
That’s one scary hunter – I totally felt the tension. Great job:)
Sharon Bayliss · May 26, 2011 at 6:37 pm
I liked, “heavy breaths drummed behind me.” Good luck!
Ellie Garratt · May 27, 2011 at 1:37 am
Dark, creepy, and full of tension. I’m a little scared!
Power Of Tension Blogfest
Michael Di Gesu · May 27, 2011 at 8:40 am
An intense action scene. Terrific description especially when she fell. Excellent pacing, Brenda. I really enjoyed it.
Summer Ross · May 27, 2011 at 9:15 am
The descriptions and tension really made me as a reader get into this piece- well done.
Heather · May 28, 2011 at 9:04 am
Oooo that does just drip tension and I’m dying to read more! Not to mention I’m intrigued by this Hunter idea. Loved it!
Rachel Morgan · May 29, 2011 at 5:33 am
Eeek! Why is the hunter after them? And does he catch Afton and Nick?
Thanks for entering 🙂
Crystal · May 29, 2011 at 5:18 pm
Excellent – I love a good chase scene. I’m dying to know why the hunter is after Afton and Nick!
stickynotestories · May 31, 2011 at 7:19 am
Oh ouch! And totally surprised that the Hunter didn’t go after the MC. I suppose he/she was already injured enough to come back for later 🙂
Susanna Leonard Hill · May 31, 2011 at 10:07 am
Good entry! i love that the hunter’s eyes are like white marble with mot irises or pupils – so creepy and inhuman!
Comments are closed.